Really?

I saw a Humvee in the parking lot of Whole Foods today. Weird.

I realized today that I don't really like most Christmas music and haven't since I was a kid. Actually I realized that a few years ago, but I realized WHY today. As a kid, Christmas music is fun mostly because you're always the one singing it. But as you get older, you're forced to listen to Bing Crosby sing it. And if you don't particularly like Bing Crosby, well... it doesn't do much for your like of the music in general.

Allison came out with a very profound statement the other day: "I was two on the day I turned three."

I used to buy milk two or more gallons at a time. Then I read some stuff that said milk actually wasn't as good for you as everyone says. These days I buy vinegar two or more gallons at a time. I'm not saying the one is a natural byproduct of the other, but there you are.

I really don't understand how people still get computer viruses. How hard is it to question a sender about a strange looking attachment?

I never realized just how insanely fun it can be to throw one tiny cat onto the back of another unspecting cat. Especially a large, old and crotchety cat.

I've already decided that I will most likely be writing in my candidate for president next year. Not sure who, but I just can't bring myself to validate the choices either party has given us with so much as an X... or a hanging chad.

I have a theory that hardcore pornography is actually targeted at closeted gay men. Why else would they spend so much time focused on the cock?

I don't think I will ever reach a point in my life where I am too mature to laugh at a fat kid falling down.

For years I've told people the story of a childhood friend who peed on an electric fence as if it were something that happened to me personally. Somehow a story like that is just funnier in the first person.

I don't care if she's only fifteen; hot is hot and show me the law that says it's illegal to leer.

I like to think I'm fairly open-minded when it comes to strange foods, but I still can't wrap my mind around tofu.

Little kids' bodies are so ridiculously disproportionate it's almost a marvel they aren't genetically defective. When they raise their arms up high, the fingers barely clear their scalp.

The thing I really miss about my Geo is playing "Merge Chicken" against people in Mercedes SUV's.

I have no idea how I used to eat Ramen in such quantities.

I sometimes wonder how many years the sciences of physics and chemistry were set back because one guy thought for about two seconds that the atom resembled a mini-solar system.

I can't bring myself to feel sympathy for anyone who loses an hour and a half's worth of work because they forgot to save.

I never realized that I hadn't seen a single red hot dog since leaving Maine until about a year ago when I read on Wikipedia that red hot dogs are actually a Maine "thing."

I likewise never realized that I hadn't seen a single whoopie pie since leaving Maine until somebody told me that Maine is apparently the whoopie pie capital of the world.

Britney Spears is hot. Her music is catchy. And everyone just needs to lay off.

At any given hour on any given day I would bet a minor sum of money that I could find at least one Law & Order or CSI incarnation on TV.

I still don't know, nor care, what the top news story of the day is.

I saw a Humvee in the parking lot of Whole Foods today. Still weird.