It's wet ain't it? DRINK IT!

People are all up in arms about this whole Aquafina thing. For those of you who aren’t aware, apparently there was some big news report a couple months back, which revealed that Aquafina, the bottled water company, was selling its customers (gasp) tap water. I didn’t see the report myself, but I did hear the shocked tales of horror from at least three people within the first week whenever the topic of bottled water came up in conversation… that’s right, I have boring friends and we talk about bottled water, okay? Even though it’s been a couple of months it still somehow keeps getting brought up with new people. Each time I hear the indignant tap water proclamation I have the same reaction: “Yeah… and?” Seriously was anybody surprised by this revelation? We’ve been hearing for years that most of the bottled waters out there are nothing more than tap water. And it didn’t take a genius to realize Aquafina fell into this category. In this day and age of marketing, any bottled water company who gets its water from a bona fide spring is going to mention that fact in big bold letters on the label. Aquafina bottles by contrast have always said, simply, “Purified Drinking Water.”

Oh don’t get me wrong, as somebody who routinely drinks more than his daily recommended eight glasses of water, I definitely have preferences when it comes to buying the bottled variety. Poland Spring will always be my top choice if available, but I’ll take a Dasani or an Aquafina if that’s what’s available, or even a Vasa (the brand of choice on the Jersey Turnpike apparently) if that’s all I can find. As long as I can’t taste anything foul in the water, I don’t care where it came from. And the simple truth I’ve found about bottled waters is that as long as they’re cold, pretty much all of the major brands taste just fine. The lone exception to that rule is Evian, which tastes like an oil slick to the point where I seriously just don’t understand why people still buy it. Is it the French name?

But seriously, why should I care if my bottled water comes from a tap? The water I drink at home comes from a tap. Filtered through a Brita obviously. As far as I’m concerned bottled water, especially those individual-sized bottles, are intended for “on the go” drinking only. I really don’t understand those people who have cases and cases of bottled water inside their house. I can almost get on board with the people who buy those big five-gallon jugs that they stick in their refrigerator, but even then I have my reservations. Unless you are legitimately concerned about the actual safety of your water (i.e. you think it contains lead or some other kind of contaminant), why wouldn’t you save money, fridge space and landfill volume by using a Brita or some other kind of filter, which removes like 99 percent of whatever might be lurking inside your water – and 100 percent of whatever might make it taste bad?

Ironically it seems like the people who are most concerned and/or horrified about this big Aquafina “revelation” are the ones who tend not to drink a lot of water anyway. I’m not sure if they realize it, but all the soda, coffee and juice they are drinking probably contains tap water as well. Somehow I doubt Coca-Cola, Starbucks and Snapple are importing jugs of spring water to make their beverages. In instances like this, when you’re contemplating which brand of bottled water to buy, I say let your taste buds be your guide. If the water tastes fine, it’s probably fine. If it tastes like crap, mountain spring or not, change brands. To quote a Sprite commercial, “Obey your thirst,” not those sensationalistic talking heads on the news. Now drink up.

(On a completely unrelated note, kudos to you if you caught the Goonies reference in this blog's title.)