The MySpace Generation... who cares?

I was cleaning out my computer this week and stumbled across something I'd written back around election time. It was originally written with the intent of submitting it to one of the local alt papers around here, but I apparently never found the time to actually finish and polish it. It was in pretty jagged shape when I came across it this week, but I thought the ideas I was presenting were good and valid and worth seeing the light of day. So I fixed it up a bit and, even though it's a little dated, I figured I'd finally share it with the world at large. Enjoy.

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WE ARE THE MYSPACE GENERATION… AND WE COULD CARE LESS
by Brian Hodges

I received a rather long internet forward on my MySpace bulletin board this week which basically said, "Hey couch potato, make sure you go out and vote next Tuesday!" Like most forwards that don't involve filling out surveys or watching videos of indie rock bands on treadmills, I gave it a only quick skim before devoting my attention to more pressing matters like creating my own South Park character and scanning for hotties amongst my friends' friends list. I fully expected the bulletin and all its content to fade from memory by the time I logged off the site. But before clicking away to post an animation of some fat chick having sex to a friend's comment area, my eyes happened upon one particular line: "They're calling our generation the Apathetic Generation."

The composition of this particular bulletin indicated an author of better writing skills than your typical 14 to 23-year-old MySpace user, so it made sense that the original poster was probably someone closer to my age and the apathetic generation to which he referred was my own. Born in 1978, I've always been rather confused as to which generation I technically belonged. A quick check of Wikipedia simultaneously places me in Generation X, Generation Y, The MTV Generation and something called "The Boomerang Generation." But no matter which "our generation" the author was actually indicating, I could only assume that the "they" to which he alluded meant the people of our parents' generation, which for the average MySpacer means the Baby Boomers.

Normally an attack like this doesn't bother me enough to give it a second thought (isn't that what apathy is all about?), but for some reason this particular criticism, made in this particular context, stuck with me well after I'd finished approving new friend requests and changing my profile song to "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. What this nameless "they" was saying, according to the author, was that despite being faced with a war, a nuclear threat, human rights violations and a laundry list of other issues, "our generation" is still too lazy and uncaring to go out and vote. I went back over the post several times and the more I read that one key line, the more self-righteous my apathy became.

When "they" say "our generation" is apathetic, what "they" are really saying is that "we" aren't like "them." "We" don't do all the things "they" did at our age. "Our generation" doesn't mobilize for reform on college campuses. "Our generation" doesn't march on the Capitol building waving placards and hurling slogans. "Our generation" doesn't engage in civil disobedience while singing defiant folk songs. And "our generation" certainly doesn't rally around political candidates who might end the tyranny, bring peace to our country and harmony to the world. If this is what "they" mean by an "apathetic generation" then I guess I'd say "they" are right.

But can "they" really blame us? After all, "they" are "our generation's" role models. "They" thought trying to change the world was all noble and groovy for about a decade or so until they realized there was more money to be made selling real estate. "They" were all about fighting The Establishment and standing up for the little man until "they" realized they could use their law degree to defend The Establishment against little man's lawsuits and earn a fatter paycheck. Woodstock, Marin County, the Sunset Strip, places where "they" used to hang out, smoke dope and say, "Love is all you need," are now nothing more than giant spaces for them to build luxury condos and hang billboards advertising Big Macs, timeshares, and the next season of Big Brother. "They" were passionate. "They" were going to make a difference. And yet look at what "they" produced. Frankly, I think things might have turned out better if "they" had taken a cue from "our generation" and just said, "Eh, whatever."

If there's anything "our generation" has learned from "them", it's that politics is not the way to change the world. We tried it out for a while… more to see what all the fuss was about I think. During the 2004 Democratic and Republican Conventions, "our generation" descended on Boston and New York and tried to capture some of the allure of the late sixties. We marched. We protested. We spoke out on matters we only kind of understood. But the trend died quickly… probably when all the young men realized this particular political revolution wasn't manifesting with its own sixties-style sexual revolution. And as soon as it became apparent that those hot Blue State chicks weren't putting out after the rally, we went back to work at Best Buy so we could save up enough money to buy a Razr phone with internet capabilities – allowing us to check our MySpace while on the go.

Maybe "our generation" doesn't vote. Maybe we don't give two shits about who ends up controlling Congress next Tuesday. But does anyone among us – from "our generation" or "theirs" – really and truly believe that a different set of politicians will be the thing that brings about a new and better America? "They" have already proven their own lack of faith in the power of the vote by moving on from the passionate activism of the 1960's to the apathetic consumerism of pretty much every decade since. All "our generation" is doing is skipping over "power of the vote" and going straight to apathy.

That being said, "our generation" is far from apathetic. We do care about things. We really do. It's just that right now, honestly, we have no idea whatsoever how to fix the mess that "they" created. Perhaps it will come to us in time. Perhaps what looks like apathy is just "our generation" unconsciously biding its time, watching and waiting until "they" vacate the premises. We know there's nothing we can really do as long as "they" are still in control, so why waste "our" time and "our" energy on useless rallies and campaigns that will only serve to get another one of "them" elected? Better to just sit here quietly, listening to our iPods, playing Final Fantasy, and deciding which MySpace friends to put in our Top 8 List. Who knows, maybe MySpace will become the platform where the new revolution begins. Maybe with every silly blog we post, with every YouTube video we embed, with every slutty self-portrait we upload, we will slowly but surely come together as one unit who will finally bring down The Establishment "they" were ultimately powerless to stop. And unlike the misguided stunts "they" pulled in the preceding generation, our tactics will be less likely to get us shot by the National Guard.

So to all the "they's" who want to call us "The Apathetic Generation," we say enjoy your election next Tuesday. We won't be there, but we'll be thinking of you. And when your solution to everything once again fails to solve anything, we'll be here, predictably not caring. We'll just keep on doing what we do everyday; hanging out on MySpace and waiting for you to die.