Reduce, Reuse, Re-detonate

I read a story in USA Today yesterday (actually "story" is too big a word, this was more of a blurb buried in the margins) about a series of explosions that occurred inside a bomb recycling plant in Louisiana this week. Okay, first of all, in this spectacle-fueled society, why was that one not all over the front page? People live for stories with explosions. Especially ones that involve multiple bombs, and especially ones that occur right in our own back yard.

Second of all, I didn't even know there was such a thing as bomb recycling plants in this county. Hell, I didn't know there was such a thing as bomb recycling. Exactly what kinds of bombs do these people recycle and what, pray tell, do they remake with the leftover components? Firecrackers? Presto logs? Cap guns? Apparently this plant recycles old military bombs. I assume we're not talking about nukes here, but are they the kind that look like old cannon balls with fuses on them? Are these like plastic explosives? ...and if so, which number is printed on the bottom? Like do they send it to the plant along with their milk cartons or their soda bottles?

But more to the point, who signs up for this particular job? What are the qualifications one needs to recycle bombs? And what does that kind job pay? What kind of salary would you have to pull down before you agreed to be the guy who pulls the toenails out of a Rotweiler hopped up on crack? Oh sure, they probably have safety procedures in place to keep you from getting mauled, but that doesn't change the fact that you're still pulling the toenails out of a Rotweiler hopped up on crack. I'm sure they had safety guidelines at this recycling plant, but damn, a place like that is (forgive the unfortunate cliche/pun) just a ticking timebomb... which they will apparently then refurbish into a watch or something before the timer goes down to zero.

But the thing that is really... REALLY funny about this - the explosions forced police to evacuate two schools in the area.

Seriously... no I mean seriously... WHO BUILDS A BOMB RECYLING PLANT NEAR A FREAKIN' SCHOOL?