Operator... well can you help me send this text message...

Lauren and I got new cell phones a couple of weeks ago. Lauren’s sister Lisa had just upgraded her phone and told us about a sale that Verizon was having, so we went out and got a good deal on two camera phones that will allow us to take and send pictures and videos in addition to regular text messages. When we’ve talked about getting camera phones in the past, it’s always been seen as more of a practical device.

“Oh, this will be good if one of us is ever involved in a car accident. We’ll be able to take pictures of the scene for court.”

Well, it might have been that way if Lisa and Lauren hadn’t gotten the exact same phone with the exact same capabilities. Now the two of them, I swear, are like teenage girls, sending cutesy little messages back and forth all day long, shooting and sending pictures of everything they see, dressing up the pictures with pretty borders, attaching different ringtones to the pictures and typing the text messages to make it seem as though one of their kids wrote the sentiment.

One of them (I won’t reveal who) actually took a picture of her own butt and sent it to the other. Maybe they aren’t like teenage girls at all. Maybe the new phones are bringing out the teenage BOYS in them. “Hey Marc, lookit ‘dis. ‘Dat’s my BUTT! Heh, heh, heh!”

When they send something, it of course prompts the other person to call them back, and then they proceed to have an hour-long conversation. They sit up until midnight chitty chatting on the phone about this and that. Except instead of whispering about the boys they snuck a kiss and a trip to second base with behind the dugout, they’re gabbing on about their latest Tupperware parties and PartyLite orders. And rather than Lauren’s dad yelling at her for racking up the phone bill, it’s me, her husband yelling at her for going over her minutes.

But it’s the videos that are the most out of control. You can shoot fifteen-second videos with this camera and send those to your friends as well. I’ll even admit that it was fun for the first couple of days. I’d shoot a scene of Allison on the swings or throwing rocks at the neighbors’ kids and send it off to Lauren for a quick laugh. But these sisters think they’re Martin Scorcese armed with a cell phone. The thing about it is, it’s really all the same video. Fifteen seconds of one of the kids saying “Hi” to their aunt.

I can remember watching a busload of Japanese tourists one time taking pictures of just about everything. Except it wasn’t really everything. What it was was Mom and Aunt Lilly in front of the entrance sign. Then Mom and Aunt Lilly in front of the exhibit sign. Then Mom and Aunt Lilly in front of the restroom sign. Now just Aunt Lilly in front of the restroom sign. With Lauren and Lisa it’s kind of the same thing. Except here, it’s “Hi Aunt Lisa” on the slide. Then “Hi Aunt Lisa” in the car. Then “Hi Aunt Lisa” at the grocery store. Then “Hi Aunt Lisa” in no place special except for the fact that Allison is just being really cooperative with the camera this time around.

I’d get mad, but it really is very cute, the two of them. They think it’s the pictures of their kids that are adorable, but really, it’s the two of them who are just so precious. Like little boy-crazy girls with technology. Can’t wait to see our next wireless bill.